Reenactment 309 (Impossible Blue),  50 x 40 in, 2017
Reenactment 309 (Impossible Blue), 50 x 40 in, 2017

I have thrown those ashes a thousand times in my mind. Seen the ground change color in an endless loop. I close my eyes, hear the breeze, see the sway of the trees on the edge of the meadow. The motion of my hand. Now, I feel the slight sting of the sweat bees that surround me, as I photograph the late July wildflowers, growing from the ground where your body soaked in.

 

Reenactment 308 (Maroon), 50 x 40 in, 2017
Reenactment 308 (Maroon), 50 x 40 in, 2017
Snakeskin, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Snakeskin, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Trying to remember Oscar's funeral flowers, 2017
Trying to remember Oscar's funeral flowers, 2017
Oscar, Self Portrait, date unknown
Oscar, Self Portrait, date unknown
Reenactment 187 (White Drops), 21 x 16 in 2015
Reenactment 187 (White Drops), 21 x 16 in 2015
Reenactment 216 (Bent Rainbow), 40 x 32 in, 2017
Reenactment 216 (Bent Rainbow), 40 x 32 in, 2017
Anne at Berkeley, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1972-73
Anne at Berkeley, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1972-73
Reenactment 285 (Violet), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Reenactment 285 (Violet), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Reenactment 286  (Impossible green), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Reenactment 286 (Impossible green), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Ashes dissipating, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Ashes dissipating, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Reenactment 212 (Young peach), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 212 (Young peach), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 211 (Crimson), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 211 (Crimson), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Backlit Rose, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Backlit Rose, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1979
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1979
Untitled (Peach fling), 50 x 40 in, 2014
Untitled (Peach fling), 50 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 230 (Black), 25 x 20 in, 2016
Reenactment 230 (Black), 25 x 20 in, 2016
Reenactment 231 (Blue), 40 x 32 in, 2016
Reenactment 231 (Blue), 40 x 32 in, 2016
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Oscar, date unknown
Oscar, date unknown
Reenactment 73 (Green throw), 40 x 50 in, 2013
Reenactment 73 (Green throw), 40 x 50 in, 2013
Reenactment 77 (Throw), 40 x 50 in, 2014
Reenactment 77 (Throw), 40 x 50 in, 2014
Crab Apple Blossoms, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Crab Apple Blossoms, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 183 (Yellow), 14 x 11 in, 2015
Reenactment 183 (Yellow), 14 x 11 in, 2015
Anne, Tealia and Crystal, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1986-87
Anne, Tealia and Crystal, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1986-87
Reenactment 169 (Blue), 25 x 20 in, 2015
Reenactment 169 (Blue), 25 x 20 in, 2015
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Flowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Flowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 102 (Persimmon Spread), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 102 (Persimmon Spread), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 101 (Lavender Grass), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 101 (Lavender Grass), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Thistles, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Thistles, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 209 (Lavender Spray), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 209 (Lavender Spray), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 310 (Blackberries), 2017
Reenactment 310 (Blackberries), 2017
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
The Wassaic Project
The Wassaic Project
The Harts Gallery
The Harts Gallery
Reenactment 309 (Impossible Blue),  50 x 40 in, 2017
Reenactment 308 (Maroon), 50 x 40 in, 2017
Snakeskin, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Trying to remember Oscar's funeral flowers, 2017
Oscar, Self Portrait, date unknown
Reenactment 187 (White Drops), 21 x 16 in 2015
Reenactment 216 (Bent Rainbow), 40 x 32 in, 2017
Anne at Berkeley, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1972-73
Reenactment 285 (Violet), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Reenactment 286  (Impossible green), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Ashes dissipating, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Reenactment 212 (Young peach), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 211 (Crimson), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Backlit Rose, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1979
Untitled (Peach fling), 50 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 230 (Black), 25 x 20 in, 2016
Reenactment 231 (Blue), 40 x 32 in, 2016
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Oscar, date unknown
Reenactment 73 (Green throw), 40 x 50 in, 2013
Reenactment 77 (Throw), 40 x 50 in, 2014
Crab Apple Blossoms, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 183 (Yellow), 14 x 11 in, 2015
Anne, Tealia and Crystal, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1986-87
Reenactment 169 (Blue), 25 x 20 in, 2015
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Flowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 102 (Persimmon Spread), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 101 (Lavender Grass), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Thistles, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 209 (Lavender Spray), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 310 (Blackberries), 2017
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
The Wassaic Project
The Harts Gallery
Reenactment 309 (Impossible Blue), 50 x 40 in, 2017

I have thrown those ashes a thousand times in my mind. Seen the ground change color in an endless loop. I close my eyes, hear the breeze, see the sway of the trees on the edge of the meadow. The motion of my hand. Now, I feel the slight sting of the sweat bees that surround me, as I photograph the late July wildflowers, growing from the ground where your body soaked in.

 

Reenactment 308 (Maroon), 50 x 40 in, 2017
Snakeskin, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Trying to remember Oscar's funeral flowers, 2017
Oscar, Self Portrait, date unknown
Reenactment 187 (White Drops), 21 x 16 in 2015
Reenactment 216 (Bent Rainbow), 40 x 32 in, 2017
Anne at Berkeley, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1972-73
Reenactment 285 (Violet), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Reenactment 286 (Impossible green), 50 x 40 in, 2016
Wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Ashes dissipating, 21 x 16 in, 2013
Reenactment 212 (Young peach), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 211 (Crimson), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Backlit Rose, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1979
Untitled (Peach fling), 50 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 230 (Black), 25 x 20 in, 2016
Reenactment 231 (Blue), 40 x 32 in, 2016
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Oscar, date unknown
Reenactment 73 (Green throw), 40 x 50 in, 2013
Reenactment 77 (Throw), 40 x 50 in, 2014
Crab Apple Blossoms, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 183 (Yellow), 14 x 11 in, 2015
Anne, Tealia and Crystal, photo by Oscar Ellis, 1986-87
Reenactment 169 (Blue), 25 x 20 in, 2015
Anne and Tealia, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Flowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 102 (Persimmon Spread), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Reenactment 101 (Lavender Grass), 32 x 40 in, 2014
Anne with wildflowers, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Thistles, photo by Oscar Ellis, date unknown
Reenactment 209 (Lavender Spray), 50 x 40 in, 2015
Reenactment 310 (Blackberries), 2017
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
Egg Collective
The Wassaic Project
The Harts Gallery
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